primal screaming

today we witnessed the full capacity of pepe's lungs. he was exhausted after school and playing, and just could not hold it together in the evening. he managed to eat macaroni, and watched the 1/2 h here comes a digger video, but then he got stuck on how the water bottle needed more water bc it spilled a bit, and how he did not want to get changed and wanted to go downstairs. yikes! and the screaming began. i sent chris out of the room, changed him, and then put my back to the door and ignored his screaming. he stopped after a couple of minutes. then i moved into reading books "to myself", which pepe did not like so he joined me. that was the end of it. he was exhausted, almost fell asleep in my arms, and after a short version of the ducky stories he is now fast asleep. hew!

sick

pepe is sick. he woke up last night crying and hot, around 2:30am and was up until 7am, when he fells asleep in the guest room. when we got to his room, he started saying that he wants to play, and it's sunny out, etc, so we thought he is playing tricks on us. but then i felt his forehead and he was so hot. we got some tylenol in him, but there was no way he'd return to sleep. the morning was rough, chris says, but now the boy is still sleeping, and hopefully he'll be feeling better soon....and we thought he'd manage to get through the winter without getting sick!!

memorial day monday

nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual....neighbour's yard (i wonder whether they are getting annoyed with us as we are always there these days, and perhaps i might have stepped on some toes by giving the girls popsicles and stuffies..), then playground on the bike with chris (and a memorable fell off a bike pedal followed by a pretty bad scrape on chris's elbow and a bump on pepe's helmet....it was so cute to see pepe explaining to me how his elbow is hurting like daddy's..), then a nap, and more neighbour's yard, play with micheal (i like amy and bed a lot and we gotta make sure we socialize more with them), then "here comes a tractor" video, a much needed bath, snuggling in bed with mommy and daddy, lots of kissing and questions about who has a penis and who has a vagina (vagagana). now he is in bed, night night...

bbcue

we met baby amaia today, 6 weeks old blue eye girl of andy and michelle's. she is a cutie and so tiny. pepe had a ball playing with 3 y old cave, who is a rascal just like pepe. the 2 feisty boys had some interesting conversations, and it was great to hear pepe say "don't do that" when cave tried to pour sand under his shirt, or hold on to his truck saying "i am using it", "it is my turn" when cave tried to take it away. we also had fun and this little adventure took my mind of the surgery pain, at least a little. of course, pepe did not eat anything and we had to go to nicola's for his dinner...

new developments

pepe is becoming more and more verbal, and more and more reasonable. when he is upset, i can now actually reason with him and it works. he is also making progress in terms of sharing, and is playing very nicely with other kids.

he still eats only the cheese and pepperoni of his pizza, eats more comfortably with hands rather than utensils, loves to get comfort from his baba - the sucking intensifies based on emotion level.

he continues loving to play the guitar and knows about 30 songs. his memory continues to be incredible. he is a keen observer, as someone at the playground put it today "he is very focused". he pouts when he wants to appeal to my softer side - just like I remember doing as a kid.

he surprises me with lots of neediness at times (e.g., i need mommy kisses, i need to wake mommy, lots of hugs) and i still can't get enough of it.

he still hides under his blond bangs, and does not make eye contact with strangers when talking. chris remember doing that as a kid, and he continues to do it now, something about collecting thoughts and being less distracted. i started working on this with pepe and it is going well.

helli and pillar's bday

was today. the girls turned three. there was a nice gathering of really nice people and kids, and low key and very pleasant. thank god i gave into taking some ibuprofen and my gum pain was so much better, so i was able to have fun as well. pepe was shy initially. he awoke rather abruptly from his nap, and i think we did not give him enough time to wake up (usually he tells us "i up" when he is ready to get out of the crib, and sometimes he spends quite a bit of time there all by himself singing, playing, talking). but we wanted to be on time for the party. we started on the wrong foot....i mean feet, by suggesting he wears the crocs - ok, this was me, thinking that putting the crocs on would be easier than socks and shoes...wrong, mostly because pepe can't figure out the left from the right... but i digress. so, with his crocks on, left in right, right in left, we went to the neighbours yard, which was filled with 5 3 y old girls, and 1 1 year old boy. when pepe saw that, he said he does not want to go. "i scared". we tried to help him out, but he started playing by himself on the deck, so we went to say hi. one of the girls, elenor, whom pepe knew from before, went and talked him into making an appearance. we also changed the crocks, and pepe immediately became himself. of course, pepe did not eat anything but cake and icecream. he was also a bit upset that he did not get to light the candle, but got over that quickly. when all left, the girls and pepe played some more. well, not really together. helli and pilar went into our house and gathered all the stuffies, and started to diaper them and talk about how they are pooping. eventually i got them out with one stuffy and a diaper each. i have to say, i loved playing with them, and i realize more and more how much i'd love to have a girl. everyone ran out of energy eventually, and we all went home. pepe is now sleeping, and he actually helped me read "good night moon" by describing the picture. a last happy bday to the two 3 y old cuties from next door.

rated R

Pepe has been "into" his penis lately - touching it and laughing, telling us that "this is my penis". he informed us today that both chris and i have vaginas (vagaganas), that all his friends at school, boys and girls have vaginas (wonder whether there was some talk at school about that?). dream on, little boy!

said, done today

P: Mommy, I need to go outside
AM: Pepe, there is a difference between need and want. You don't need to go outside, you want to go outside.
P: Mommy, I want to go outside.
AM: Pepe, it's raining. We can't go outside.
P: screaming, I want to...

5 minutes later.
P: Mommy,the digger and the excavator have to go outside to dig the dirt.

###
I had minor gum surgery today so my left chick is swollen and I was told to use lots of ice. When Pepe came from school and saw me with it he started crying, "You are hurt. You use ice". After several explanation as to why mommy uses ice, Pepe requested an icepack and started saying "My mouth hurts" putting the icepack on it, "My pants hurt", "My shirt hurts".

pepe loves his baba. he loves sucking on it, with or without milkies. i think he will go to college with his baba in his pocket. when the baba is not on site, pepe loves to suck on his fingers - he puts all of them, except the thumb, into his mouth. i sucked my thumb, like most kids. my mom tells me that she sucked her fingers, just like pepe, so there you go, we have someone to blame for this. on a serious note, perhaps it is time to work on giving the baba up (our neighbours gave their babas to babies a long time ago, and they are so cute when they see pepe, their little faces get a frown on and they say "pepe has a bottle, give it to babies" and pepe says, "i no give it to babies, i using it". we also have to do some potty training. grandma suggested we get some underpants, as the diapers are too comfortable, even when full. we'll see. i can't imagine pepe taking a break from playing to sit on the potty, but we'll see.

pepe the song writer

this morning pepe took all his trucks out - i was told to use the big firetruck and chris got the little firetrucks. the diggers...all pepe's. at some point he started singing "little little dump truck, let's go to the yard" on the melody of twinkle twinkle. the song kept going on and it rhymed!

new games

tonight we played indoor catch with the red ball. what a ball we had! pepe was laughing hysterically when the ball would bump from the wall onto the lamp onto my head... he kept yelling "i got", "i got it", "i use it now" any time we'd try to catch it.

earlier in the day we played with helly and pilar, and michael came over too. it's so nice to see all the kids playing and i cant help thinking of the future, 4 years from now going to school together, then highschool, having parties...i love our neighbourhood!

pepe loves pretzels

to the point that he gagged me today (his little hand went down my little throat) when i attempted to pick up one of his pretzels. i could not convince him that i did not take any - "I need more", "It's in your mouth", so I opened my mouth and the next second he was gagging me. so now he is asleep, with the bag of pretzels in his bed, to make sure mommy does not get any....

hiking again

this time with charlie and sonia. pepe was again the head of the pack running, not walking the trails. it was a beautiful morning and the hike was very nice, not crowded, quiet and tranquil. we went to the pond and pepe went into the water up to his ankles, which was fine. at some point there was some roughhousing with daddy, and somehow charlie playfully kicked pepe, and then pepe started throwing rock into charlie. but that did not last too long, and pepe is almost sleeping now and we will have a nice barbecue in a minute with charlie and sonia, and then play some games and watch the bball, and a nice afternoon thereafter when pepe will wake up.
welcome spring, finally!

first no nap day

everyone is telling me that kids "give up" their naps around the age of 3. i refuse to believe it. i mean, they can give it up, but i won't. i love having the 2-3 hours mid day in the weekend, to take a power nap myself, run errands, do some work, take a break. so everytime chris or others say "he doesn't need a nap" i say, "yes he does, he will nap until college". and he has been napping. and it has always been fairly easy to put him down; he rarely screeches, though sometimes he tries "i don't need a nap, it's sunny out", but he quickly realizes that he does not have a chance.

fastforward to yesterday. chris took pepe to grandma's to help out with moving some furniture in the new room. i had the day off (off meaning i did some reading in the backyard after vacuuming, doing all the laundry, reorganizing my closet, writing one section of a book chapter for work, cleaning the kitchen and..oh, running 10 miles), so when chris called telling me that pepe might not get a nap bc of scheduling issues, my initial "he needs to" was tamed down by the guilt of having the day "off" and told him that he is in charge. so, there was no nap, except about 45 min of sleep in the car. pepe and chris returned around 5 in time for kate & zack's barbecue, and pepe was chipper. he told me all about the icecream he had at the icehouse, and going to the playground and the beach. we went next door and played with the girls (i just love how pepe and the girls come in an out of our house, and pepe uses their"playground" and there is no fighting over the toys, coz the girls have no interest in backhoes and pepe has no interest in stuffed animals..) and we had a nice meal, and pepe was in good spirits. without a nap.he went down a t the usual 8 pm with a few stories and no protests. and we were able to enjoy a game of taboo and a nice tart with the neighbours and their friends.

so does this mean that pepe does not need a nap anymore? he might not, but i do, so he will be napping...until college!

Pepe the gardener

Off all the vegetables I planted this year, so far only the radishes have come out. And who planted the radishes? Pepe. And who planted everything else? Me.

So, if you want your vegetables to come out, use the Pepe method: put soil in a pot, add seeds, scoop the soil out, put the soil back in, repeat, repeat....there go your beautiful vegetables! Nice work, Pepe.

"I eat you" - mommy and Pepe game

pepe and i have been playing this game for a while. it started when he was a baby. I would kiss a foot, or an arm, and playfully say "I eat you". My mom played the same game with me when i was a baby and a young kid. Pepe enjoyed it from the beginning, laughing hysterically and , eventually, starting to say "I need more I eat you". Recently, he started to play the game himself, "I eat mommy's hand, yummy, it's yummy" kissing my hand. I play "eating game". I need more". Last night this went on for 30 minutes, followed by a tickling match. I am having more and more fun with my Pepe.

pearls

Pepe is into undressing and dressing himself these days. This is a recent development that came from Pepe himself - no hints or pressures from us. Pepe also hates having clothes on him, but that's another entry...

So this morning Pepe asked to watch "Lola and Charlie", a British show which I highly recommend (you should hear Pepe ask for "Lola and Charlie" with a clear British accent), and we obliged. During the show the PJ's came out, and only the diaper stayed on. "I undressed myself, all by myself" (just like Lola, who is a 2 y old who refuses help and does "anything and everything all by myself"). The show was only 11 minutes, and Pepe moved on to playing with his trains on the porch. All of a sudden I hear "It came out" and look over to the porch. Little dark pebbles of poop all over, in a line that depicted Pepe's trajectory from a train to another. "Where did it come from?", I say. "From my pipi's. It just came out". He certainly does not have the anatomy down yet, and perhaps that's a good thing, but he is still the most adorable and sweet kid ever, and he is all mine, at least for now!

macaroni drama..

pepe watched "lola and charlie" before dinner this evening. chris and i warmed up some lentil and vegetable stew for us, and i made mac and cheese for pepe, per his request. as soon as we sat at the table, pepe took a bite and spilled some on the ground. Immediately he became upset screaming "I need more". He usually does this when he spills, and we usually tell him that he has plenty and he'll get more once he finishes what's on his plate. But tonight this did not work. And Pepe threw his plate on the floor, screaming "I need more". A time out followed. Pepe continued to scream that he want macaroni. Initially I felt that he should not have any, as a lesson, and offered other foods. Finally I realized he is too tired, perhaps, a bit sick, for sure, and he needs to eat. So Pepe and I together made another bowl of macaroni (those individual servings). Pepe calmed down and I was able to talk to him about being angry and upset, which is OK, and about throwing, which is not OK, and about perhaps counting or breathing when upset (yeah, right!). Macaroni was ready, and Pepe took the bowl and...dumped it on the floor and ran away from me. When I asked if it was an accident, he ran further and started screaming "I want more". Chris was not witness to this second incident, as he went to take a shower while Pepe and I made the macaroni. Boy, I was so angry with Pepe. He sensed it to. I took him upstairs, in my arms, and the separation made me realize that he is jut exhausted. I left him upstairs with Chris, and went downstairs, but Pepe started screaming that he wants me, and I need to hols him. He realized I was upset. I held strong to "no macaroni tonight", and send Pepe out with Chris to get some pizza (hopefully nothing is getting reinforced here). This was probably the first real tantrum of Pepe's. I hear from other moms and I read other mom's blogs about their kids screaming for hours, and I know this is nothing compared to that. Pepe is acting like a 2 y old, although I do feel that he is testing our limits a bit, yet I also think that developmentally he can't , for example, understand the future tense, everything is present, and getting more macaroni in the future might not mean much to him...i also see myself in him, as a kid, i would so have dumped the second bowl of macaroni, just to piss my parents off and show off my stubbornness... so there you go!

great memory

pepe's memory is truly amazing. from an early age, before being able to speak in sentences, he was able to remember the location of a playground or digger after visiting them even once. even in the dark at times he'd point out the direction of a playground. now he proves his memory in music as well. he sometimes hums the melody of a song that he heard only once, and the other day surprised chris with a song in spanish, which he'd heard that morning at the library concert.

mothers' day

a beautiful sunny day.

woke up all ready for melrose's run for women and kid's dash. again, pepe preferred to go look for diggers and missed his race. i ran a good one, and met up with the boys thereafter. we found a beautiful playground in a recreational park, and had a blast there. pepe had a bunch of cookies post race, and kept going for more and more. back home pepe played with the neighbours and then went down for his much needed nap. up at 4pm, I received a large bouquet of red roses and a nice homemade card, along with a mirror shaped like a heart, which pepe made at school (thanks, teachers!). next we went to spy pond playground where pepe and a bunch of other excavator loving kids took turns (or not) using the much beloved machine. next trader joe's shopping and pepe's new favorite "elmo the music show". somewhere in there we squeezed a trip to nicola's so pepe had one decent meal today...now he is tucked in, after allowing me to tell him a pc stories about duckies and pepe who share the excavator....

what's been happening

pepe returned today. he seemed happy to be back and very cuddly. he had lots of fun with grandma - saw turtles at the science center, went to the playground (in the rain), played the guitar and ate good food - like bow tie pasta with "nails" (pepe was served with yummy bow tie pasta and a fork, and when he forked the pasta he started saying that there are "nails" in the pasta, something he most likely picked up from bob the builder.

so he was back today, and surprised me with some new things he learned -like showing me how to play hopscotch - and we had a busy day (and no nap). we headed to spy pond playground around 2:30, where pepe used the excavator, threw rocks in the water, watched the geese and duckies, walked on the wall, played with a 4 year old kid whose mom was obviously not happy to be there. next, nicola's for pizza, helli and pillar, next michael - and it's 6:30 pm and time to play the guitar inside the house. chris came home at 7pm (and yes, he did well on his test) and i was done for the day and ready to collapse. the boy is cute, but a lot of work. and grandma had him for 3 days straight!

we also talked to buni today, both me and pepe, and it was fun hearing pepe talk about all the things he did and learned.

missing pepe

pepe will be with grandma until saturday, so that chris can get a chance to do some studying friday and saturday am before the big test. and i miss him. already. in fact, i started missing him this morning, when grandma called with the offer to come pick him up. he was so cute this morning, telling me that he is going to be good to his friends, good to grandma, and that he will miss mommy. little boy, mommy misses you and wishes you the best day!

overheard this evening

chris has been studying hard for his highschool math licensure exam. he studied this evening again, in the living room, while pepe took all his vehicles out and started playing with them.
P: You use the big fire engine daddy.
C: Honey, daddy would like to play with you but daddy needs to study.
P: No, you don't need to study. Put papers away. You use the firetruck.
C: Please stop being so cute so that I don't stop studying..
P: I no cute, you put papers away.
AM: why do you want daddy to put papers away.
P: to play with pepe...

(so daddy continues to study and i took over the big fire truck and pepe seemed content. the boy is growing, understanding more and more...like yesterday's conversation...

Pepe and me on the back porch. I discover Chris locked the door.
AM (annoyed tone): Shit, the door is locked. Daddy locked the door. Again!
P: That's not nice to daddy....

Note to self: gotta watch the language.

such a sweet boy

pepe has been going thru a "very sweet boy" . he has been very cuddly, not wanting to let go of me when picking him up from school - this makes a FT working mom so happy! i love how his personality develops, assertive, sweet, funny. he has this ability to make you feel like you are the most important person. when he wants something he knows has a low probability of getting, he comes to you and without making eye contact he mumbles his request. then he gives you an under the eye kinda smile. tough to resist him!

for buni

it's no secrete that buni misses pepe. a lot. every time we talk on the phone, it's all about pepe. this blog is for pepe but also for buni, to make sure that she does not miss packets of his life, even though she is geographically an ocean away. so today i called buni to wish her happy birthday. she was at bran supervising the construction of a new house. she mentioned that there are a few excavators and she will take a picture of herself in one and send it to pepe. so when i got picked up from the train station by chris and a tired ready for his nap pepe, i mentioned that buni has a big excavator that she drives. pepe did not say much. when he woke up after his nap, first thing he said was about buni, how she has an excavator, and go on a plane to see buni and drive the excavator. and we might actually do so this summer, pepe and i, as soon as we find reasonably priced tickets!

monday 5/5/8

* pepe watered the garden all by himself.
* pepe drank yogurt and had 3 pieces of bacon for dinner.
* pepe desperately wanted to go outside this evening...we desperately wanted him to stay in. screaming, screaming, screaming. then i have the brilliant idea to tell pepe that indeed he can go out but only if there are other kids outside. we looked together and ...no kids. "i see one kid", pepe sheepishly told me, "where?" i said, "I see him, he is outside, i go outside" pepe said. if he pulls such shenanigans now, what's in store for us when he is 14?
screaming again. lots. another brilliant idea. chris and i get all his trucks out and start playing with them. he immediately comes and tells us he is playing with the tracks and we can't. screaming over. hew!
* pepe gave a long concert - guitar and drums.
* pepe had another yummy chocolate egg from buni. and mommy had one too, but did not tell pepe about it.
* pepe is watching pingu. in 10 minutes is bed time. wish me luck. i'm on.

back home

..around 1:00pm, in time for the celtics-hawks bbal game. pepe took a little nap, too short, which explains the events later in the evening. up at 3:30, i was in charge as chris had to study for his licensure math test. pepe wanted to go to spy pond and use the excavator. and there we went. once the excavator became available, pepe did not stop using it. for 1 hour and 15 minutes. luckily it was a cloudy afternoon and only a few kids were at the playground, and no one was interested in the excavator. i was really impressed with pepe. the excavator is v heavy. it has a seat and 2 arms connected to a scoop; each arm needs to be manipulated separately so that the scoops can dig and scoop dirt. pepe worked hard and did a great job digging a big hole. i don't know how i managed to get him out of the playground - the swans and duckies in the pond did not interest him, but we did manage to leave without a tantrum. next we went grocery shopping and then to nicola's pizza for dinner for pepe - pepperoni pizza, and pepe ate 1/2 slice and all the peperoni. back at home michael was outside with his mom amy and we hung out a bit and the boys played very well. dinner for us was next and pepe had a few french fries and purple icecream. he then lined all his trucks and diggers up and played with them. after a while he pulled up the guitar and handed me the drums and we sang lots and lots and lots of song. the fun was interrupted as we had to give pepe a haircut - no more delaying. pepe really hated it and screamed his lungs out. but when i was done the first thing he did was go to the mirror, and boy he was pleased! nice to see that he cares about how he looks and has such great self-image. a little soda was the reward. by 7:30 he was kicking and screaming again, exhausted, and chris and i worked together to change him and finally he calmed down with a bottle of milkies and i was glad it was chris's turn to put him down, which is happening right now. tomorrow is monday and everything starts again. it is going to be a long day for pepe as i have a dentist appt and chris will drop him off pretty early so that he can study. but i promised i'll take him to spy pond if the weather is nice!

what do you want to be when you grow up?

a digger worker!

pepe's first race...a chip of the old block...or not

we headed for nh on saturday early morning for my 9 am 5k, and pepe's 10:30 50 yards dash. we were all chipper in spite of a rainy cool day. we met grandma at the race and she and chris and pepe watched as i ran a pretty damn good race. post race we had some time to kill and i joined into the festivities (and yummy food) while pepe and chris and grandma found a playground. and then, well, pepe announce "i no running"..well, actually that's what he kept talking about all day but i thought he would change his mind. but no. so we headed home with this tshirt and number, and now i have to decide whether i should give him the t shirt or use the ol' running policy - no race, no tshirt and keep it for myself since it is anyway a small adult....pepe will have another chance on sunday next week when i am doing another 5K and there is a free kids dash as well. will see. but this weekend, he certainly made up all that "not done" race by running around gradma's house, going to children's museum an even taking a walk on the beach in the pouring rain. who knows, maybe we could have a noncompetitive child in our hands - but with such parents, it's just hard to imagine.

with appologies to chris

pepe announced this morning that "daddy has a vagina and mommy has a vagina", followed by a contagious laughter. i had no idea where did he pick up the word. we've talked about penises, yes, but we've never mentioned vaginas. in any case, chris immediately corrected him and noted that i should restrain myself from blogging about this. but my ability for restraint is low these days...and how could i not write about this ? it's just too funny! i won't, however, get into any sort of analysis as to why this comment affected chris so much....that's for another blog (private, sorry:)

refound friendship

pepe and michael, our 4 year old neighbour, have played so well all summer long. pepe was obsessed with michael and we took advantage of his obsession - "michael is eating dinner now, michael is sleeping, michael would not throw rocks".but winter came and we have not seen michael in a while. until this afternoon. pepe wanted to play outside with his little tykes car (btw, i overheard him saying, while "driving" the car - "watch out, petru is driving, all by yourself"), and we were outside when michael and his sister returned from school. pepe and michael were ecstatic to see each other. pepe followed michael around all afternoon. michael showed him ants, and how to run in circle (michael is the most energetic kid i've ever seen) and their mouths were going nonstop.
i am so happy the friendship rekindled. michael is the only other boy pepe's age on the street, and it is going to be great for them to grow up together. plus, i like amy, his mom - the only other full time working mom and exercise obsessed woman i know besides me!