feeling guilty

i had pepe this afternoon as chris had bbal practice and then a night of bball watching with banjo jim ("important game", i was told). i was also feverish all day, nauseated, and out of it. i also had 10 patients and a long day. so after i picked pepe up from school i suggested he watch the 'cars" video. he "obeyed". i had fun watching with him, and he even picked up his guitar and played a couple of tunes. he had pretzels, refused the mac & cheese which i set on a little table in front of the tv, and had 1 chocolate chip cookie and 2 bottles for dinner. who knew the movie was going to be 2 hours long (who makes movies for kids this long, hellooooooo????) and, in my defense, i tried to turn the tv off after one hour and distract pepe with the thomas trains or the trucks or a music cd. no luck...and no energy. the movie was over at 8, when he normally is in bed, but we always do stories, and turning the tv off while telling pepe will do stories is much easier than telling him he has to go to bed ("I don't wanna go to bed"). upstairs i changed him into a pair of sweat pants, clean socks and a light fleece - yes, pepe is refusing pj's these days and we went to 'mommy and daddy's bed' for stories: cars, barnies and numbers, spiders *2, bob the builder * 2, murdarica (means "dirty girl" - my favorite book as a kid, that, per mom, i had memorized and used to "read" to myself when i was pepe's age....)... next, we went to look at the sky in the study, and pepe closed all the blinds, and caught his hand in the blind a bit and mommy kissed and it got better (mom and dad used to do this for me when i was a kid...). then off to the crib with a fresh baba, and ducky stories which i did not do right-pepe kept correcting me ensuring that there was no sharing of his toys and he was the only one "using" the excavator...the usual. now he is fast asleep and i feel guilty coz i had so little time with the boy and most of it was spent watching cars. but i guess there will be days like this, and it's ok, and cookies and milk for dinner are all right once in a while, and i will feel better soon and the weather will be nice again and will be outside. and what matters is that pepe had a great afternoon and evening and spent time in my arms telling me about all the cars and what they were doing, and it was ok for a rainy late april afternoon. i love you pepe!

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Leslie the teacher told me how impressed some moms where with pepe - his language and everything he knows about diggers and construction equipment.
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Pepe learned about caterpillars today.
P: "Caterpillars, we made caterpillars with paints".
AM: What color were they?
P: Red and blue and yellow. And they have eyes.
AM: Eyes, and mouths?
P: Yes.
AM: And hair?
P: No hair.
AM: And noses?
P: No, no mommy,caterpillars don't have noses. Pepe has nose, and daddy has nose and mommy has nose. No caterpillars. (v. upset!!!!).
Am: Ok,Ok, no noses.
P: And then they grow wings and become butterflies?
AM: Wow.
P; Red and blue and yellow.

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Pepe rode his red and yellow car from Bianca down the street last night with Chris. I hear there was a tantrum which required Chris to physically remove Pepe from the site and leave the car in front of May's house at the end of the street. This morning Chris and Pepe drove me to the T. Pepe had a meltdown when he saw the car in front of May's house. "I drive it now". He did not forget about it all day, and as we starting walking up the street after picking him up this afternoon, he kept asking about the red car "Red car in front of May's house, It's Pepe's car", and he was reassured only when he saw the red car in the garage...