the toddler's mind

pepe has been asking for a digger cake for a while. he was excited when i showed him the pic of his future cake, which i found on line thanks to my friend j., after lots of google searching. we bought digger invitations and announced the digger theme party. everything was set to go until today, when pepe announced: "for my bday, i want a thomas train cake". chris started laughing, of course, as i started explaining how we had talked about a digger party. to no avail. lets just hope he'll forget about the trains coz he is getting the digger....or maybe a stop and shop cake...or maybe a cupcake...

potty-potty

We have been rather inconsistent with Pepe's potty training. He is at school a lot, and we are seldom at home during the summer. Pepe wants to be naked everywhere and at all times, which I don't have a problem with, but American society does. Chris got potty treats - mini diggers and such, and started using them as a reward in a Chris-nonbehaviorist-kinda way...like, you sat on the potty, you get a treat, even if it is only 2 seconds and nothing came out, and, oh, you can actually exchange the toy after a while, too...So this is not working. Now, the past couple of days Pepe has been sticking his fingers in his butt extracting little poop pebbles and throwing them everywhere. We talked about it and he seems to be responding, and at least he does not fight washing his hands after. he is very interested in poop, talks about it, sings about it, "poopies comes out of my body", "i eat food and i make poopies". I know this is a normal stage and my mom keeps reminding me about how she found me in my crib coloring the wall with poop during my toddler years... I am just getting a bit tired of this, not concern, bc I know this will eventually happen, just tired. We filled out the application for Pepe's new school, which starts in September. pepe will be Preschool I, and on the application, where they asked questions about potty habits, there was no option for "not potty trained", I had to add that in. Chris is a bit embarrassed, as he works with some of the folks there, and so he keeps talking about Pepe getting potty trained by then. I just feel we need to have a week of naked time, nonstop, to make this happen, or at least a week where we constantly work on the issue... And then this little voice in my head starts saying -what's the big deal?

buni's excavator

Buni sent a few pics of herself driving the excavator that was used for the work on the new house in Bran. I showed the pics to Pepe this morning, and he was really excited, wanted to see them over and over and over.
AM: Do you like the excavator?
P: Yes, but it is too big for me. But I can still drive it..
AM: Maybe Buni can hold you...
P: No, mom, you can't, Buni can't hold you, it's not safe, it's dangerous...

Later on, he got a mini excavator as a potty treat, and as he played with it...

P: Yes, Buni is using you, but I can use you too, coz I need to.

visit at uncle Radu and aunt Ilii

Ilii

Radu the tuna cook
Down the slide he goes
very grown up

chris and pepe picked me up after work today to go visit radu and ilii in quincy. i was a few minutes late finishing up for the week, but pepe was busy watching the excavators taking down one of the old mgh buildings... we had a great meal of tuna and fresh salad and tomatoes and mozarella, while pepe played in the garden, picked off the petals of one of radu's flowers (yikes!), sled down the basement door (see pic above) and almost ran away as he managed to open one of the gates... it was nice to see ilii and radu, and pepe was affectionate and gave hugs and kisses. he also did well without a nap, though he did fall asleep on the way back home....here are some pix taken by master photographer radu..

cheezy post

It's so interesting to ponder back to when Pepe was born, the immediate love and connection I felt, and the change in the quality of love as he developed his own personality and I developed (still am) my parenting style... The initial love was mostly protective. I remember holding Pepe and feeling that he is so fragile and frail and vulnerable. I don 't think I would have been able to give Pepe a bath for quiet a bit, have mom not been with us. I remember the first bath, how she held Pepe, face down, with one hand, and used a cloth with the other, talking with him the entire time, how amazed I was at her ease, and how clumsy I felt. And Chris, with his shaking hands and big smile everytime he would look or hold Pepe. The next phase started when I got back to work, Pepe 2 months old. The love was visceral. I would look at the pictures on the internet between patients, and wipe a tear or two, reminding myself why I had to work. As Pepe developed, the love turned into pride - for his looks, for his charm, for his wit. I began to see myself and Chris and my family in him.

I remember growing up and how there were times when I would not be able to understand why my parents chose to give us kids "food rarities" rather than sharing them equally among the 4 of us... I remember my mom telling me many times that "I would understand it later". I certainly don't have to deprive myself of food for Pepe, but there are deprivations that come with parenthood, and responsibilities that seem heavy at times, and there is getting used to loving someone more than I love myself, and the feeling that I would do anything for Pepe, to help prepare him for a healthy and joyful life.

I don't really know what the purpose of this post was. Maybe is that I miss Pepe, who is in New Castle with Chris for a couple of days, and the house is so quiet, and I got to ponder a bit about life prePepe and how I used to fill up my days....Miss ya, little guy!

co-napping

Pepe was up at 12:00am last night, most likely bc of the heat, and was not back to sleep until 2am. Both Chris and I were exhausted this am, as Pepe slept until after 8am. We ran him around this am, hoping for a return to the schedule (after not napping at all yeasterday bc of the family reunion). We bought Lightening McQueen sheets for the big boy bed, but Pepe did not care, "I am not tired". So I suggested I sleep with him and we both sat cozy on the bed, but Pepe kept telling me to move so that he could see all the cars on the bedsheets. Fast forward 30 min..."I want to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed". So we transition there, after I make it clear that we both need a nap. Pepe agrees. In the bed, I close my eyes, and Pepe starts touching my face, "Bumpy nose", "Mommy, this little piggy went to the market, this little piggie, and this little piggie went ,...all the way home' (tickling me). I had a hard time not laughing, but I managed to keep quiet. Next, he started putting pillows over me and jumping in the bed. At this point, I said "OK, we need to go to your crib, this is not working', to which Pepe replied "Please, I sleep". "OK, one more chance, I say". Pepe starts singing: "One more chance, one more chance". "Good night mommy", "Good night Pepe". "Good night mommy....", on and on. finally, another 30 min into this Pepe gets transported into his crib, with a fresh baba. A bit of crying, ducky stories, and off to sleep. So, was it worth it, over 1 h of self torture? Maybe my memories of feeling so happy and special into my parents big bed, and the comfort memories of sleeping at times with them triggered this notion that Pepe might enjoy it too. And he does, but just a big too much for my taste, and his need for sleep...

family reunion

Jim organized a family reunion - Margaret and his side, which we attended yesterday. Pepe got to play with his cousins Margo and Fuffy, and Isabela and Michael. He has a blast. He was super independent, and, after a few moments of shyness, he became his real self - charming, joyful, playful, assertive and personable. "He is a real imp", "What a sweet personality", "He really is charming, and I mean I work with kids all day, he really is", "I just love his look" , "he is so personable" where a few comments that Pepe got at the party.

A few pearls from yesterday...

Stuck in traffic..
P: GO, GO, NOW (screaming, red in the face)
AM: Pepe, there are too many cars on the road, so everyone needs to go slow..
P: It's my road!

*
Pepe and Fuffy, his 3 y old "older" cousin found each other and went into the library and shut the door. I heard Pepe explaining to Fuffy about diggers, trains, and Fuffy listen carefully. She has a more tamed personality, a good match for Pepe.

**
At the beach, Pepe followed the big kids around a bit, but realized soon enough that the big kids (Jim's grandkids) are too big... So he settled on digging. But "I need a shovel". Immediately starts running and goes to get a shovel. Then we hear: "I need a bucket". Immediately starts running and comes back with a bucket. Chris goes after him and they find the owner of the shovel and bucket, and Chris asks Pepe to get permission to use the utensils. Pepe gets close to the child, tilts his head to the kids' face and says "Can I use this, for a second, coz I need it, right now?". The kid is nice and shares...

***
Fuffy started skipping and going upstairs after the beach..
F: I am going to change
P: Yes, I am coming
Kids go into the upstairs bedroom and close the door.
Chris checks on them (despite my rule - noone is crying, let the kids be) and they were in the bed talking...