End of the school year

I have a few minutes before I have to get dressed to go to Petru's end of year slideshow. Petru is already outside - this morning he was up at 6am, prepared the little presents for his classmates (because today is also a birthday celebration for him since his actual birthday is in the summer), brushed his teeth, ate breakfast, unpacked and packed his backpack without any reminders. Wow!

Yesterday I picked him up from afterschool around 5pm. I try my best not to have him sit there by 6pm, although I don't think he'd mind. He was watching a group of 5 kids play pool, patiently waiting his turn. He asked to stay a little longer so that he can have his turn, and I agreed. He started playing with J, a kid who has teased him in the past. They were both playing nicely. Petru had no idea how to play and was holding the stick awkwardly. J's father showed up and was the big cheer leader for J which was a bit comical. P did so well. He ended up losing and J said "I won, you lost" and P said "I lost" with a visible sad face. We left and he was sad, but I was able to comfort him and tell him how proud I am of how he handled this loss. I told him that I wouldn't have been more proud has he won; he played a game he had not played before, took a chance, lost but had fun in the process. His face demeanor changed. When Chris got home we praised him for this again.

I remember hating to lose as well. I was lucky and generally much more athletic than Petru, and also an internalizer. Somehow I managed to be the leader and have all the kids want to play with me when I was his age. Much easier for me that way. I did not lose often, but when I did, I worked very very hard to improve. This is something I want to instill in Petru as well, and I think both Chris and I are doing a great job with this so far. Visualize and make it happen, do your best while accepting that sometimes things might now work out the way you envision them to, problem solve and adapt, and never give up.

Time's up. Off to the celebration and then to work!

Update

June 17, 2013

I am sitting in the Arlington Children’s Theatre watching Petru rehearse for the Little Mermaid. I have been here for 2 hours and have finished all the work I brought with me. Then I remembered the blog. This past week I shared the blog with Petru, now an almost 8 year old. He loved it. He laughed hearing about how he used to be, the conversations we used to have, and how he made sense of things when he was much younger. This motivated me to get back to the blog.

So lets rewind and update first.

Petru is almost done with 1^st grade at Dallin. He had a great year, with lots of learning for him, but mostly for Chris and me. This year shattered many of the parenting believes that I used to hold, and helped me grow so much as a parent and as a person. 

Some highlights of the year:

We took  a trip to Florida to see cousin Landen and  meet cousin Oliver. Petru and Landen had a ball (and several competitive arguments, ha!). We went to Legoland, we went to Wet and Wild (water park!!!) and enjoyed time with Buni and family.

We took another trip to North Carolina where we spent time with cousins Izzy and Michael, and played a lot of mini golf.

Some favorites:

Traffic lights continue to be huge

Drawing

Mini Golf

Water park (memberships for Watercountry have again been purchased this year).

Music – Taylor Swift is big nowJ

Piano

Petru started Russian Math this year and has been doing very well. Amazing to see him strive in that environment, and go from being unable to sit and work through any problem that was not “easy”, to trying to figure things out on his own (and succeeding). I think he inherited Chris’s math geneJ More importantly, he is super proud of himself and often announces that “I am good at math”.

More recently Petru took off with his reading. I think this is a function of reducing the computer time.

He continues to take piano lessons, and has his second recital tomorrow afternoon. He will be playing “chimes”, which he composed, and Rodeo. He has been working on learning how to play “I knew you were trouble” and is excited to play it in front of all his friends on Monday.

Pictures some other time..

Two marriges in one week?

I will do an update post in a little while, but thought I'd share the important events of the past week.
On Thursday last week Petru had a playdate with E from across the street (age 5). He and E have not been getting along, primarily due to different personalities. Nonetheless, things went really well on Thursday and all of a sudden I see them making rings out of plado and having a "pretend wedding{. E: "You know, we can get married, we don't have to do the kissing thing, I mean, if you don't want to". P: "Yes, no kissing, that is gross, and no kids. And you know, if we keep fighting, this is not gonna work out".
+++
Fast forward to today. Rainy day. I was working in the living room and H, Pi and Petru were talking in the room next door. All of a sudden I hear H and Petru talk about getting married.
H: "I wanna marry P".
P: "I wanna marry H".
AM: You know, P, you already married E.
P: Oh, no!
H: Does she want kids? Because I wanna have kids.
P: Yes, I wanna have kids.
H: OK, we can have a kid.
P: You need to change the diaper.
H: Yes, since I am the woman, I will change the diaper. You need to have a good job.
P; Yes, I will be a policeman and drive a fast car.
Pi (H's sister): You guys need to be nice to each other and share the chores.
H: We'll just have the kids do the chores. And Pi, you will babysit so I can have free time.
++++

Petru's first kindergarten performance at Dallin

Petru's school is having a monthly celebration where each grade picks a theme and does a show. Then, at the end of the semester/year (?) they get to present the entire show.

We found out about this over the weekend. We saw Petru looking for youtube videos of "Imagine" sang in sign language, but thought that was another quirky Petru thing. It was not. It was part of the "home-fun". Then, on Monday Petru came home with a note from the teacher that he was chosen to write and read something about "being kind to ourselves". I worked with Petru that evening, and between threats of losing the screen time we got it done. Phew! Then yesterday we got a note to practice for today's performance. Petru read it pretty well as I pointed to each word, but had a hard time keeping his eyes on the words without my help. Lots of rewards and eventually (5 practices later) he got it done. Phew! More practice with Chris in the evening, and we were all happy.

This morning I was a nervous wreck. It is comical in retrospect. Few things make me nervous these days. Petru is a shy kid, and at the Thanksgiving parade he kept hiding and not wanting to participate. I had visions of him getting anxious and concerned. I was literally pacing, holding Chris's hand tight and making sure he saw that we were there. He enjoyed the show and sang and danced with the kids. Really beautiful celebration. At some point they had the song "True Colors" and each kids with a note stating "I am...". Petru said "brilliant", When his turn came Petru of course did a super job. Not anxiety, lots of comfort. He had a ball! Ahhh, is there any habituation to parenting related anxiety?

More pictures

Chess class

After haircut, smiling for mommy during his favorite activity: computer time

Apple picking with Buni and grandma
Popsicles at the Froggy playground with Buni and Mommy
McDonalds playground and shake


Birthday party at Jump On It. Another success


My cake for the 6th bday - per request
Cupcakes for school celebration - per request
Petru's art from 2011
Self portrait

Update

It has been a long time since the last post so will do a bullet point update and a photo dump thereafter.

Summer 2011:

Petru finished ACC including ACC camp. He really loved his time there and flourished in spite of my often dislike of the lack of structure and "do whatever you want philosophy". We got him evaluated and found out that he is super smart (95-98th percentile, in the superior average for all tests except some visual motors and spatial tests). We also found out that he has some anxiety and quirky behaviors which can get in the way to achieving to the level of his ability.

Petru had a very happy summer. His favorite activity was going to Watercountry in NH. He got more comfortable in the water, mostly because he wanted to be better than his friend Elliot. Yes, competitiveness and stubbornness are traits he inherited from his mom:)

We spent most of our evenings at the town Reservoir having nice dinners and swims.

We also took a trip camping at the Cape and had a blast. Petru was wonderful. We tried mini golfing which became a favorite of Petru's (he beat me, not a surprise).

Buni visited at the end of the summer. We took a trip together to Storyland which ended up being Petru's favorite summer activity. Buni had a blast, too.

Early fall:

Petru started kindergarten. He showed no anxiety beforehand except when we walked to school as a family and he abruptly turned around saying"I think I am going home now". It took a lot of sharing of my own first day of school experience where I cried and demanded that I get put in second grade with my brother. His first 2 weeks were smooth. However, the following 2 weeks he had a lot of trouble going to school; he has a great teacher who kept the communication open. He did a lot of arguing with the teacher, boundary testing, etc. He adjusted after that; the teacher has him on a behavioral checklist which has him get rewards for being polite (aka not arguing), being flexible (instead of doing what he wants) and being safe body (no pushing, etc). This system has helped Petru make huge strides social-emotionally. Academically he is doing very well, reading at 3.8 grade level, and being at 1.2-1.5 grade level for all activities except spelling, where he is at kindergarten level.

He grew up a lot. He is still blond, tall and skinny (Chris's body). He can be the nicest little boy but also can have mean behaviors at time. The nice moments are becoming more and more then norm.

Winter:

We had very little snow this winter, so very little sledding. Petru did chess at the library but graduated and we have not been able to continue that. He is doing swimming once/week and then we swim as a family once or twice a week. He uses a bubble but is much more comfortable in the water. I see myself often in his need for control. We are also in the process of signing him up for art classes (still loves drawing) and piano classes.

Likes: still trains with daddy, pizza and cupcakes with mommy, books, piano/music, playing with girls (bc they are more verbal and less rough). He is still partial to blondes.

When we played the game what you like about others/yourself and what you dislike he said: "I like my blond hair and I dislike that I lie sometimes".

He has imaginary friends "Hey guys" to which he tells stories including lots of lies about what he or we do.

He loves to make up songs.

"Girls whine, girls say,

Give me coffee every day"

(after an evening conversation when Sonia and I talked about how we had our husband make coffee for us for the past 10 years).

Funny things are: diapers, babies.

My favorite activities with him: snuggling (he is so affectionate), sleeping together, talking and playing get to know you games.

I am really happy with how he is developing including how he becomes more and more able to control his id, his impulses, and modulate his emotions.

New Year's celebration Boston Garden as a family, and fireworks below

Random pics - Petru and the gals next door got their hands on my phone and took lots of pics



Interesting conversation: me talking and Chris making really good eye contact and listening.

Kindergarten celebration videos!

Petru had his end of year celebration yesterday. He was very excited about it. The entire week he made sure both Chris and I are going to be there. I tried hard to get him to tell me what is going to happen during the celebration, and he did mention that him and his bff Sam are "the jokers". He said that they will say lots of jokes. That got me a bit worried and into the "lets rehearse" mode. Petru did not have any of that and kept telling me that "it is a surprise". OK, then!

I was a little nervous for him, but boy he did an amazing job. He spoke loudly and clearly, and he remembered all his lines. The celebration started with lots of songs, and then a group of 4 kids would get in front and each say 4 lines about a particular theme. After each group, Petru and Sam would get in front and say 2 jokes each. The more songs. I only took videos of the jokes. Here they are:

Pet jokes:




Wild jokes:



Circus jokes: